Bill started working for BBC Radio Oxford in 1983, and is considered by many to be very opinionated and perhaps somewhat controversial in the field of radio presenting. He is not afraid to speak his mind and allowed his listeners to do the same during his former afternoon phone-in show. American-born, Heine has lived in Oxford since studying for a postgraduate degree at Balliol College in the late 1960s. In the 1970s and 1980s, he ran both the Penultimate Picture Palace cinema in East Oxford and the Moulin Rouge Cinema (which he later renamed Not The Moulin Rouge) in Headington, and he is the owner and commissioner of the Shark House.

The only real person in the game. The real Bill Heine died in 2019; in the game he is alive and well.

Walter is a sporty, jovial planner married to Desiree, a florist in town. They have two daughters, 10 and 12, who love the Shark House and are delighted when they pass in front of it. He admires Bill Heine, the owner of the Shark House, for his audacity. He wants to concentrate on the real problems at hand, namely the removal of the Headington Garden Flats, caused by an enormous increase in the lease of the land owned by the Combs-Lyon family. He is a pub-goer and is part of the Headington Cricket Club.

Everyone is trying to convince Walter. Whoever plays him should decide what he is willing to trade.

Adele came from Poland in 2005, just after the country’s accession to the European Union, to do her PhD in political science at Oxford University. Her thesis on the economics of the welfare state gathered much attention. She then embarked on a meteoric political career, first as a councillor representing the area where the Shark House is located and then as secretary for social affairs for Headington Council. Under her administration, poverty levels have fallen thanks to a pioneering poverty alleviation programme coupled with on-the-job training. Adele is a Labour mayor, and was disappointed when many of her friends voted to leave the EU. She is troubled by the prospect of having to let the Headington Garden Flats be redeveloped, due to the renewal of the land’s lease by Lady Arabella Combs-Lyon, the local aristocrat, whom she personally dislikes.

Saida is a social worker in Headington, and her main responsibility is towards the women of the neighbourhood where the Shark House is located. Although this is a relatively affluent neighbourhood, the Headington Council Flats are located there and have faced the prospect of eviction for some years. Saida and a group of women at the council got together to raise awareness of domestic abuse in the local council schools. She works with community leaders, including Elisa Harris, a local school teacher, and Alvita Powell, the matriarch of a Jamaican family living in the council flats around the corner. When Saida first saw the shark, she rolled her eyes and thought: “Oh, no, another boy’s phallic symbol!” She has grown to like it after meeting its rebellious owner, Bill Heine. She identified with the rebellious nature of the shark and started seeing Bill more often.

Half of Headington sits on land that belongs to the Combs-Lyons. The land is leased to developers for 100 years and developers collect rent from tenants. This includes the school, the pub (The Rising Sun), the Headington Garden Flats and even the Shark House itself. The lease on the land of the Headington Garden Flats is about to be renewed and Lady Arabella intends to raise it substantially. Headington Council intends to appeal against the rise to keep rents affordable for the citizens who live there, but the future is uncertain. Lady Arabella lives in Headington Manor, built in 1770 and surrounded by a green estate. The manor fell into disrepair after her father, Sir Archibald, died suddenly of a heart attack in 1986. She is president of the Headington Heritage Society, wants to preserve the “Britishness” of Headington, and supports the Oxford Cricket Club.

She owns the land under the Shark House. What does ownership let her do here, and what not?

After 40 years as a teacher at the Windmill Primary School, Molly welcomed retirement as a chance to enjoy what she and her husband Ted, a plumber, never had time for. They bought a timeshare apartment in Málaga, but the 2008 Spanish property crisis hit the developer and the apartments were never delivered; they are still in a seemingly endless legal battle. Meanwhile Molly befriended Lady Arabella and helps give guided tours of the manor. She is part of the Headington Heritage Society, which manages the manor and its grounds, the little Headington Historical Museum with its medieval armour, and a few more listed buildings. Molly is fond of the typical British charm of Headington. She dislikes foreigners in general, and Bill Heine particularly annoys her because of his lack of composure (she once saw him picking his nose).

Professor Varma is a third-generation Indian Briton whose family came to the UK in 1947, when India obtained independence. He is the dean of the college where the mayor, Adele Sekula, obtained her PhD. He is socially conservative, votes Tory and voted Leave in the Brexit referendum, because he believes Britain is better alone than being patronised by France and Germany. He is a strong believer in rules and regulations, because he says they make life together easier. His wife, Preetika, is also a scholar, but disagrees with him about pretty much everything. He is friends with Edmund Green and is a pub-goer.

Edmund owns The Rising Sun, a traditional pub in Headington where people gather to celebrate the World Cup and the Cricket World Cup. He is a conservative Tory voter who voted to leave the European Union because he wants Britain to “take back control” over immigration and defence. Ed is not a fan of foreigners and just about puts up with Deepanshu. He is the father of Elisa Harris (née Green), a teacher at the local school and an activist for women’s rights.

Deepanshu owns a convenience shop in the same street as the Shark House. He was deeply distrustful of Bill Heine, the American who one fine day decided to plant a shark through the roof of his house. Deepanshu started to change his mind when tourists from London began arriving in droves to photograph the shark. He is the captain of the Headington Cricket Team, a team of men in their forties and fifties who play every weekend at the Headington Country Club, and he is immensely popular. Walter Harrington plays in the same team.

Huazu is a single mother and owns the Peking Duck, where many people get their takeaway, including the Harringtons, Professor Varma, Edmund Green and Bill Heine. Her former husband is in prison for domestic violence. Huazu is friends with Alvita Powell and has been helped by Saida Ben Mansour and Elisa Harris; Elisa has become her best friend. Huazu likes the shark, and can’t understand what the fuss is all about.

Desiree is the niece of Lady Arabella; some say she will inherit the land, since Lady Arabella never had children. Unlike her aunt, Desiree is a free spirit and campaigns for the legalisation of cannabis. She is married to Walter Harrington, the chief planner, and is friends with Saida Ben Mansour and Elisa Harris. Her marriage is unhappy, but she won’t break free because “it is just too much fuss!”. Her aunt finds her too “wild” and would love her to behave like a lady; Desiree rolls her eyes more than usual when this comes up. She voted Remain and is a firm supporter of the Green Party.

Alvita came from Jamaica in 1948 with the Windrush generation, the Commonwealth citizens who came to Britain as children after the Second World War. She has lived in the council flats with her husband David since 1971 and is still incredibly active there. Although socially conservative, she became involved with domestic violence after a neighbour, Huazu Chen, sought refuge in her flat following an attack by her husband. She works with Saida Ben Mansour and Elisa Harris. She has resolutely fought the plan to redevelop her block, triggered by Lady Arabella’s lease rise. She fears the media attention on the shark will reflect badly on her community, fears gentrification and rising rents, and thinks all this may attract “those hipsters from London and their cappuccinos”. She is suspicious of artists.

She has the most to lose from rising land values, and the least formal power. Can she turn the shark into an argument about the flats?

David came from Jamaica in 1960 and is married to Alvita. He was a fervent Labour voter, but became disillusioned with politics after the Leave vote. He belongs to the Headington Country Club and helps the cricket club, though he feels too old to play. He used to be a Rastafarian, but joined the Quakers after a car accident in which he and Alvita almost lost their lives. Adele Sekula, the mayor, belongs to the same circle of Quaker friends, but they are not close: as Quakers, they mostly sit in silence. David thinks every man should be able to decide what to do with his property. He is also worried about too much media attention.

Elisa is the daughter of Edmund and Peggy Green. Raised in a conservative household, she became a feminist and an activist early on. She is friends with Saida Ben Mansour and with Alvita Powell. She teaches small children, but takes an interest in the many vulnerable teenagers living in the flats. She is a sports fan and is often seen at her father’s pub. Elisa wonders whether the shark is public art.

You can invent any character, including one who represents you. Define your position on the shark clearly before the game starts.